Rinbu
by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue
Summary: '...she's come again. But this time, she's come alone. I know that she wants to have answers, but all I can do is just look at her and try to speak to her through my eyes...'


Rinbu

By: Neko-chan

  
  


A/N: Just to let you know, this is only a one-shot. It was not meant to be continued; it was meant to stand alone, by itself. If people like this story and want me to add another chapter or write a sequel to it...I'm sorry. This is all there will be for this story. Anyway, I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Neko-chan does not own Revolutionary Girl Utena. And that's that.

  
  
  
  


She's come again. I can just barely sense her, her presence brushing against my thoughts, my mind, like a cat brushing against its master's legs. I can just barely see her now. Ah. She's come alone. I've wondered when she would finally decide to visit me alone. Always before, she was always with that other girl. That otherworldly girl. So why did she finally decide to come to me alone?

She never realized just how long I've been watching her. For her, a _very_ long time. To me? I've been watching her for all of eternity. Just watching...and waiting. Wondering if she would finally become the one that I've been waiting for. It still isn't time, so there is a chance of her not becoming the one person that I need the most...but there is still that chance that she actually may be that person. All I can do is hope.

The girl has stopped now. She's standing in front of me. But I can't respond. I haven't been able to respond for a very long time. Once again, it seems like eternity. Maybe I've ever forgotten _how_ to respond... All I can do is raise my head and stare at her, trying to speak with my eyes. Does she even understand?

I hope so. Oh, how I hope so.

"Hello," she finally begins, whispering softly as she comes closer. This girl is my hope, but she could also lead to my downfall. Does she even realize just how important she is to me? And, the most important thing is, she's so terribly, terribly naive. That one aspect of her personality can either fulfill her as nothing else can...or it can lead to her own destruction, as well as my own.

Her dream bubbles could pop.

"It's been a while since that last time that I've visited you, hasn't it?" she continues. "I apologize for being gone for so long. I never meant to stay away for this large amount of time. But...some things came up and I wasn't able to come and visit you." At this, she blushes. Why? I am curious. "I have so many questions for you and I wish that you could answer them for me. But you can't, can you? All you can do is just stay there and look at me with those sad eyes."

What has been going on down below that I am unable to see??

"I know that I am important to you in many ways--but I don't understand any of this. I've been asking people what this or that means, but all they do is give me a secret smile and just walk away. I'm tired of them walking away from me! I... I only want answers. Is that really that much to ask for? Everyone speaks of revolution and bringing about revolution in various ways. Please, try to answer me... What does this all mean?"

If only she knew. If only she knew the story from the very beginning. It is a story of trials and errors...and of failures. What would she do--what would she think--if she knew the story behind everything? What would she do if she found out secrets that I and the people she trusts most are hiding? She has every right to question. And I should have expected these questions. But I never did. So what to do?

"What is this power of revolution? Why do so many people want to bring it about? I mean, isn't the world good enough as it is? Aren't they going to destroy many people's comfortable and happy lives with their goal? Yes, it is a good thing to bring about change. But what happens if that change does more harm than good? And... There are so many secrets. Secrets within secrets, sometimes. All I want is an honest answer. Can you please tell me??"

I laugh bitterly to myself at this. What good is the power of revolution if you can't even use that power to free yourself? I'm stuck, in something akin to limbo. And, no matter how hard I try, I can't get unstuck. What to do? What to do--that IS the question. The only hope that I have lies within the unassuming girl standing right in front of me. She could be the one person who would have enough strength and heart to bring about revolution. But does she even want it?

A hard question, that. 

All the answers that I need lie hidden within people. Within me, within him, within her, and within the other 'players' dancing in this strange game. Every move that they make has a purpose, though that purpose may not be understood by them. Each duel that they fight is another step towards our fulfillment. Each duel that they fight represents an ideal--a thought.

Soi.

Self.

I wonder what she would think if she ever found out just how important that duel was? She became another step towards our revolution. She became another step towards realizing who SHE is...and what she could become. There are many, many more duels to be fought and she will have many, many opponents. But I know that she can do this. She is a person who believes and fights with her mind, body, spirit...but, most of all, her heart. And THAT is where the difference can be made. With her heart.

"I just wish that someone could give me answers. Why can't they just tell me what the purpose of the Duels are for? I never asked to be involved in this. You and I both know that I stumbled into this by accident. ...does anyone actually want any of this? Sometimes, I think that the answer is no. But...other times, I'm proven wrong. How could I possibly know what each person feels and thinks? I... I just don't _know_ anymore."

I wonder what she would think if she ever found out that each person was confused, frustrated, and as left in the dark as she is when _they_ first started out. It's nothing new. Each person has always started out confused, but eventually...they learn. It's the only way. They learn or they die. _Something_ within them dies.

I wish that I could somehow tell her that all she _can_ do is keep on fighting. There is no other choice. So many people depend on her, me included. Oh, how I'm depending on her. To me, she means everything. She has been my past, she IS my presents...and hopefully she will be my future. But it's all up to her. I know that she can carry this through. I know that she is capable of doing these things...if only... If only...

Everything that I have, everything that I AM...it all depends on her. Why can't she realize that? Why can't she realize just how important she is to everyone? _She_ is the one with the power to revolutionize the world. _Her._

I close my green eyes and start to gather my power. She has to have answers and I need to give them to her. It's more than a need, though. I _want_ to give them to her. She seems like she's floundering, searching for answers to her many questions. I _want_ to give her answers. But it's so hard. It's so very, very hard...

"Rinbu..." I manage to whisper. "Rinbu..."


End file.
